Star Trek Explorer: Paw Print
by Dan Rush
Summary: The pilot episode of Star Trek Explorer. The Keldish gets involved in a potential coup by rogue members of the Kzinti heirerchy.


_**STAR TREK**_

Explorer

Pilot Episode

"**Paw Print"**

Star Trek © Gene Rodenberry

Astro Boy, Kimba © Osamu Tezuka

All Rights Respected

**Act I.**

**Opening in black**

**Font in white fades in/fades out:**

In Memory of

Daniel Neil Elsberry 1966-1996

**Scene opens from black**

**Scene: The camera wanders slowly through a darkened and lifeless, or so we think, ship. It comes upon a door where Astro shows up in a frontal view with his eyes glowing emerald green.**

(Astro is played by Kodie McPhee)

Captain John Boone: (Played by David Guintoli ) (speaks over Astro's interior radio.)

Have you found anything yet?

Astro: The control room was a big nothing. There wasn't anything useful to identify, then again the controls were so simple you wouldn't need an owner's manual.

**Scene: Cora is moving along a corridor brushing her hands along the bulkhead.**

Cora: (Played by Kylee Russell) All the escape pods are still here. No sign the crew left by transporter or a shuttle.

**Scene: Simon Tarsis is in the ship's engine section.**

Tarsis: (Played by Spenser Garrett) Who ever the crew was, they weren't experts. The core wasn't very big and they burned through it like a bunch of crazy joy riders. They should be glad they didn't overheat the core and blow themselves to hell.

**Scene: Switches to the bridge of the Keldish. Captain Boone moves from his seat to Elsberry's station.**

Elsberry: (Played by James Parsons) It could be Romullan, Tolarian, Kardassian, but there is no present singular trait identifying the origin. May I suggest Captain that we try to salvage the ship's memory?

Boone: Astro?

Astro: Looking for the central processing unit already. It's a real mess around here.

**Scene: Astro pulls open a half closed door and enters what he thinks is the ship's computer room. He stops and turns his head from side to side. A pair of yellow florescent eyes appear in the darkness of the room.**

Astro: Uh?...Hey Cora? I think you might want to…

**Scene: The white Kzinti comes flying from the dark and crashes into Astro as he turns to face him.**

**Scene: The scene shifts to Cora.**

Astro: AHHHHHH!...

Cora: Astro? Mister Tarsis, on my signal now!

**Scene: Cora runs to the open door of the CPU room and sees Astro dancing about with a snarling, very ticked off white Kzinti clamping his maw down on Astro's flailing arm.**

Astro: CUT IT OUT! OFF! DOWN! GET OFF! HEAL!

**Scene: Astro sends an electrical charge through his arm and shocks the Kzinti off. It flies through the air and lands into a pile of trash.**

Astro: Isn't there an intergalactic leash law?

Cora: That?...Isn't a pet.

Tarsis: For our sakes I hope you didn't kill him.

**Scene: Camera focuses in on the unconscious Kzinti.**

**Fade out**

**End ACT I**

***Show theme break opens***

**Soundtrack: Shine © by Collective Soul**

***Show theme break ends***

**ACT II**

**Special Guests:**

Maile Flannigan: As the voice of Kim-Ritt

Gene Hackman: As the voice of Wazier-Rhet-Taul

Michel Irons: As the voice of Chuff- T'Zar

Michael Dorn: As the voice of Leo Ritt

**Act fades in from black.**

**Scene: From an above angle we see Captain Boone, Elsberry, Cora and Doctor Aidoann standing around the medical bed where the white Kzin lays still unconscious from Astro's stunning.**

Astro: We're going to need a super sized litter box.

Boone: It's not a smart idea to joke around a Kzinti. They don't have a sense of humor.

Elseberry: This is extraordinary. No one, not even common Kzinti, have seen a member of the Pretoriant line. They rarely show themselves.

**Scene: Astro looks closely over the Kzinti.**

Astro: Doesn't look dangerous to me. Almost looks like a…kid.

Cora: It's a juvenile but don't let the looks fool you, this is all teeth, claws and pure mean.

Doctor Aidorann: The Kzin were once a powerful empire hundreds of years ago. They invaded the Earth four times, fought with the Romulans, the Klingons, The Lyrians. A full size Kzinti in war armor is eight feet of death.

**Scene: Suddenly, the Kzinti wakes up and to prove the point he goes after Astro again! Snapping onto his arm and growling as people jump and dive to get out of the way!**

Astro: DUDE! REALLY? Remember what happened the last time?

**Scene: The Kzinti looks around and releases Astro.**

(Kim-Ritt: Kim-Ritt is white furred with blackened ear tips and a raccoon like mask around his eyes.)

Kim-Ritt: What vessel am I on?

Boone: You are aboard the Federation research ship Keldish. I am Captain John Boone and this is my staff.

**Scene: Kim-Ritt turns and looks at the crew members.**

Kim-Ritt:

To Aidoann: Vegan, don't like you.

To Elsberry: Vegan, don't like you.

To Boone: Captain? I would expect better.

To Cora: Dumb idiot female.

To Astro: you…you can fight. I like you.

**Scene: Cora steps in front of Astro.**

Cora: Would you like to rephrase the dumb female remark you silly excuse for a Bandi throw rug?

Astro: I thought it wasn't smart to tick these things off?

Cora: Some times they should think before they open their stupid mouths.

**Scene: Kim-Ritt leans around Cora.**

Kim-Ritt: You let them speak? How amazing!

Boone: Excuse me but isn't it a matter of honor for a Kzinti to proudly boast of himself?

Kim-ritt: I am Kim-ritt. 5th Grandson of the high Kzin, chosen future sovereign to the unbroken line of the Ritt, defender of the faith, this, that, something, whatever and I don't CARE!

Astro: Wow…someone needs a nap.

Kim-ritt: Some one needs to watch their tongue! Especially their female's!

**Scene: Cora wants to so clobber the mouthy Kzin prince. Elseberry stops her.**

Elsberry: Keep your ease Lieutenant. His behavior is the result of his cultural development. We don't want to start incidents.

Cora: Oh it won't be an incident Sir…just a momentary thump when he kisses the floor.

Boone: Easy Senshin. So how is it that the Grandson of the High Kzin ended up on a derelict freighter?

Kim-Ritt: I ran away.

Aidoann: Ran away?

Kim-ritt: Was that hard for you to understand? I ran away in the middle of the night, stole that freighter and left! I'm not going back.

Astro: You're royalty and you ran away? Life couldn't have been that bad.

Kim-ritt: You have no idea! I have no intention of turning into a fat, lazy spoon fed waste of fur and blubber. They tried to be trove me! You ever try talking to a Kzinti female?

**Scene: Kim-ritt makes a "Doy!" face. Eyes crossed, tongue sticking out, face contorted.**

Kim-ritt: I quit, I left, I'm not going home…end of story.

Boone: Well…right now your ship is worthless so for the present you will stay here till this problem is resolved.

Kim-ritt: You better not signal Kzin! I'll get violent! I'm not going home and that's final!

**Scene: Aidoann turns to Astro**

Aidoann: Something tells me this isn't going to end happily.

**Fade to black**

**End of Act II**

**ACT III**

**Scene: Scene opens from black to the Keldish cruising through space.**

Boobe: Captain's Log. We are placed in a curious dilemma. Having rescued the Sovereign aire to the Kzin throne we find ourselves in the uncomfortable spot of babysitting…to be light…a spoiled brat from some very difficult, quick tempered parents.

**Scene: Staff conference room.**

Aidoann: We have to return him regardless of how bad he complains! If we don't it's a civil war or a Kzin crazed jihad across the galaxy.

Astro: Just put him in his room, take away the video games and give him detention.

Elseberry: As if that could be such an easy solution. There is a great deal of Sthaka involved in this and the young Lord appears ignorant of the trouble he is causing.

Note: Sthaka (Sthhh-ah-ka)

Astro: Sthaka?

Cora: To the Kzin it's a form of currency. The more Sthaka you acquire, the greater you status in the society, the more success you have. Of course doing foolish things can decrease your Sthaka Take our royal run-a-way for instance. Big, big hit on the family Sthaka.

Elseberry: A member of the ruling family saying that conditions were bad enough to run from? The Pretoriant will be doing their best to hide this incident for now but that won't last long.

Aidorann: When the word gets out, all hell will break loose. Every aggressive Kzin clan with a score to settle will be sniffing blood. I don't think he understands the severity of what he's set into motion.

Boone: Then he needs to be convinced. Astro? Since he seems interested in you, perhaps he might listen to you?"

Astro: Interested? He tried to chew on me! Maybe if I had some BBQ sauce?

Cora: Just show interest in Kzinti culture. Do something that plays on their pride, you'll have him eating from your hand instantly.

Astro: You do have a hollo-deck onboard right?

**Scene: The scene shifts to the Kzinti home world. Two Kzinti males are walking through a corridor and turn into a room where a 3rd Kzin broods over an information tablet. This is Chuff-Zar of the Shin clan.**

Zar: I trust you have some worthy news?

E'Yar: It took some time. We had to wait for the telepath to come down from the drug and even then he was difficult to understand.

T'Grthem: There is enough evidence that the chosen aire is not on a hunting lesson. He may have fled the home world of his own accord.

Zar: How fortuitous? Any notion as to how and where?

T'Grethem: There was an old freighter contracted for dismantle. It has gone missing.

E'Yar: If the aire did leave, the advantage to our clan is too good to pass up. We could finally bring death to those milk and cream loving Ritts! Restore our birth right!

Zar: We go on a little hunting expedition of our own. We slay the aire, perhaps blame his demise on the human vermin? Thus ends four centuries of forced sterility…I like the thought of it.

Zar: Get us a ship and crew. Do it discreetly.

E'Yar: At once Chuff Zar!

End of Act III

Act IV

**Scene: Aboard the Keldish, Kim-ritt can barely tolerate being escorted anywhere with Cora. As they pass the hollo-deck, a slamming sound against the door gets their attention. When Cora opens it, she and Kim-Ritt see Astro fighting with a large Kzinti!**

Cora: FREEZE PROGRAM!

**Scene: Astro gasps as a Kzin sword comes inches from his face.**

Kim-Ritt: Not as strong as I thought. What kind of fighting do you call that? Tuck-n-run?"

Astro: I wasn't trying to fight it! I wanted to learn more about the Kzinti and this thing went nuts!

**Scene: Kim-Ritt walks around the Hollo-Kzinti warrior**

Kim-Ritt: This thing is pathetic! What's wrong with you humans? It should be 8 feet tall with broad thick shoulders. The claws much longer and the upper legs thicker. That! Is a Kzinti warrior. So what were you doing when the program attacked you?

Astro: Just looking at it.

Kim-Ritt: You don't "look" at a Kzinti warrior. You don't smile at him, you don't make stupid faces at him and don't turn your eyes away from him or you will be dead! You!...are juicy prey to him.

**Scene: Kim-Ritt walks up and paws at Astro's face.**

Kim-Ritt: When you meet a Kzin warrior, bare your top teeth, widen your eyes, pull your arms slightly away and back from your body and lock your gaze on his eyes. Speak with authority and don't look away from him.

Astro: I feel a little stupid.

Kim-Ritt: Better stupid and live another day, that is 8 feet of quick moving, snarling death.

**Scene: Astro curiously walks around the frozen image.**

Astro: This armor the Kzinti wear? Curious how it looks like Samurai armor. It's an exact copy down to the Kabuto on his head.

Kim-ritt: Kabuto? Where are you from? Stupid question since a robot doesn't come from any one place.

Astro: Earth. Japan to be exact. I lived there…

**Scene: Kim-ritt is tickled pink. He shakes his paws nervously.**

Kim-ritt: You're Japanese? I have questions! Many questions! Are you excellent in hand to hand combat? Do you have a family Katana? I bet you're a ninja! Would you mind teaching me some moves?

Cora: Bingo! You just hit the smooze spot. Kzinti are notorious Nipponophiles. The whole society is modeled after medieval Japan, a byproduct of the Man/Kzin wars.

**Scene: Astro is trying to calm the nervous Prince.**

Astro: Oh…..Kay?. So when does he stop going Mach 5?

**End Act IV**

**Act V**

**Scene: T'Zar's ship leaves Kzin. There is interaction between the Kzinti onboard as to the capture plan and killing of Kim-ritt.**

**Scene: Aboard Keldish, Kim-ritt is in Astro's quarters admiring Astro's collection of items from Japan.**

Astro: I've told you enough about me, now I demand you answer my questions.

**Scene: Astro tries to look tough and bears his teeth. He looks silly.**

Kim-ritt: You look stupid.

Astro: I'm still not doing it right?

**Scene: Kim-ritt plays with his face again.**

Kim-ritt: I think it's your eyes. You're just not serious looking at all.

Astro: Honestly? Why did you run away?

Kim-ritt: I don't want to be an Emperor. The only reason I was chosen was because I wasn't stupid enough to flunk all my tests. The only one smarter than me is my little sister and she's not allowed to rule the throne. In fact, the only thing she'll be able to do is wax the palace floor and have cubs. I hate our ways.

Astro: Rebellion in youth is nothing new. I can't tell you all the times I decided not to do things I didn't like. But you should think hard about the choices you make, sometimes responsibility is better faced than run from.

Kim-ritt: Responsibility? That's all I hear is responsibility! I have to live up to what everyone else wants or thinks, when do I get to have my feelings or thoughts considered for a change!

**Scene: Kim-ritt storms out.**

Scene: Elsberry walks in on Doctor Aidoann. A corner of his room looks like a high school science teacher's lab than a state of the art research unit.

Elsberry: Explain why a person of such talents resorts to such crude devices?

Aidoann: Computers my friend have a tendency to screw up ingredients. A good soup is best by hand.

Elsberry: But food replicators….

Aidoann: This isn't for consumption. Since we may have trouble with our friends the Kzinti, I did some research from the Man/Kzin war era and found a most curious solution.

Elsberry: You're going to give them soup?

Aidoann: No

Elsberry: You are not going to give them soup?

Aidoann: No

Elsberry: Then…what do you intend to give them?

**Scene: Aidoann holds up the flask**

Aidoann: No

Elsberry: Doctor, your choice of nomenclature confuses me.

Aidoann: And it provides pure entertainment value I assure you.

**Scene: Captain's quarters**

Crewman: Captain? We have a hail incoming from Kzin.

Boone: Put it through to my quarters.

**Scene: The Captain's personal screen shows an elaborately dressed Kzinti. Captain Boone's face shows a person ready to punch some one out.**

Boone: This is Captain John Boone of the starship Keldish.

Grand Wazire: What is the purpose of your transmission to us Captain?

Boone: I'm trying to find out if yourself or any Kzinti are missing something of great importance? Somewhat royalty? About this big?

Wazire: Yes…it is causing us some discomfort as you probably know.

Boone: Well we have it on board and it's being most difficult.

Wazire: Trust me Captain, once it returns to Kzin it won't be able to give any trouble for the next 14 moons. I will send a police vessel to recover it. May I have your co-ordinates?

Boone: Any special considerations?

Wazire: Please do not interfere with the royal guards when they arrive, they have very short patience spans. Don't argue with them.

Captain: Very well…Boone out.

**Scene: The Grand Wazire is actually a traitor. He turns to a loyal aide and hands him a piece of paper.**

Wazire: Give this to T'Zar

End of act V

Act VI

**Scene: Resting room aboard the Keldish. Astro escorts Kim-ritt into the room where Cora is listening to music.**

Astro: Go on?

Kim-ritt: This is humiliation!

Astro: You made a promise?

Kim-ritt: Forgive me for insulting you…you Manretti devil, spawn of darkness…

**Scene: Astro slaps Kim-ritt off the head.**

Astro: That wasn't nice!

Kim-ritt: It is the truth! She is a Manretti terrorist!

**Scene: Cora laughs.**

Astro: Sorry Cora.

'

Cora: It's nothing really. What you're witnessing is the one true weakness of the Kzin race. This is why they lost four wars against humans. They hate women…no…more like fear them.

Kim-ritt: Dishonorable curs! Human females don't fight fair!

Cora: It's that fact that we can fight that upsets the Kzinti. To them we're just brainless baby factories and that's what makes us so dangerous and despised to them. And there are more subtle reasons…

**Scene: Cora begins stroking Kim-ritts fur and soon the young Kzin is in near orgasmic purring bliss!**

Kim-ritt: Oh….prrrrrrrr….oooooooo…prrrrrrrr…CUT THAT OUT YOU MANRETTI DEVIL TEMPTRESS!

**Scene: Cora is laughing hard as Astro carries Kim-ritt away over a shoulder while he's still cussing at her!**

**Scene: Kzinti Police Ship "Enforcer's Maw"**

T'Zar: Excellent! You didn't forget to pack those Imperial uniforms the Wazire provided us?

E'Yar: Yes. We received them an hour ago.

T'Zar: Very good. Have telepath ready when we rendezvous with the Federation ship. I want this hand over to go smoothly. Send a message to the Naguma, inform them we will have what they desire soon.

**Scene: Keldish briefing room. Kim-ritt, Cora and Astro join the Captain and Elsberry.**

Boone: I have informed Kzin that you're safe.

Kim-ritt: You contacted them! I'm not going back! I told you!

Captain: It'snot our decision to make and you have no right to refuse by your customs. The Pretoriant are sending a ship…

Kim-ritt (to Astro): Don't send me back! You don't know what they'll do to me!

Astro: I'm afraid the Captain is right. Our hands are tied in this.

Kim-ritt: I hate you! You humans are like the legends say, all of you are filthy backstabbers and criminals!

**Scene: Kim-ritt runs out.**

Cora: We better follow him to keep him from doing something stupid.

**Scene: Kim-ritt tries to go into the transporter room but Cora remote locks the door.**

Cora: You really are a typical selfish juvenile brat!

Kim-ritt: Shut up! Dumb Manretti whore!

Astro: HEY!...Do you have any idea the size of the problems that could be caused by you running away? You're putting your whole family, even your whole planet in danger!

You know what I think? I think you're upset because you were allowed to run as you pleased and now that you have a little responsibility…you don't like it!

Kim-ritt: What would you know….stupid pile of wires.

Astro: I have very good hearing.

**Scene: Kim-ritt looks like he's been caught in the cookie jar.**

Astro: Yeah…you have a big mouth. Maybe next time you'll think before you flap your big yap huh?

**Scene: Astro walks away as Cora gets in Kim-ritt's face.**

Cora: I wonder if your Grandfather needs a good thick leather belt….I'll gladly give him one. You look long overdue for a good old fashioned spanking.

**Scene: Kim-ritt slackens.**

End Act VI

Act VII

**Scene: The Keldish. Astro's quarters.**

Astro: Come on?

Kim-ritt: I….I beg your forgiveness. I have shamed myself.

Astro: Nothing like growing pains huh? Don't they suck? You're just lousy at hiding your pride.

Kim-ritt: I want to do good things…just….not so soon.

**Scene: Astro pulls out a coin**

Astro: See this? It's a very old Japanese coin. To show my friendship, it's yours.

Kim-ritt: Oh no! Please I don't…

Astro: No "give backers"

Kim-ritt: Thank you.

Astro: I won't let Cora give that belt to your Grandfather.

Kim-ritt: Most appreciated.

Boone over the comline: Astro? The Police Ship is here. Please bring the Prince to the bridge?

**Scene: Keldish bridge. Astro and Kim-ritt appear. A Kzinti is on the view screen.**

T'Zar: Ah…our corpullant Prince. Captain, we hope he wasn't an embarrassment?

Kim-ritt: He's not a royal guard!

T'Zar: Oh please, not that idiotic display again! Isn't four times enough for you my Lord?

Kim-ritt: Don't give me up to them!

Astro: Now you're really digging a hole for yourself!

Boone: Commander? Could you kindly show…

**Scene: T'Zar becomes irate.**

Don't press your luck with us Captain! Our Grand Wazire was enough proof! You dare put yourself between us an our sovereign Prince and you will pay dearly for it! Our patience is rapidly shrinking…transfer the Prince….NOW!

Boone: Do as they request.

**Scene: Kim-ritt looks pleadingly at Astro.**

Astro: Hope you have a hard butt. You're gonna need it.

**Scene: Kim-ritt is transported.**

Astro: What a crybaby.

**Scene: Astro leaves. We see the two ships separate. We see aboard the Kzin ship that Kim-ritt is grabbed up as soon as he materializes.**

T'Zar: Welcome aboard….your highness.

**Scene: T'Zar brutally punches the Prince in the face.**

End act VII

Act VIII

**Scene: The Naguma. Her Captain is contacted by a Kzinti ship.**

Captain Vorta: This is Vorta, where is Chuff T'Zar?

Kzinti: He is occupied at the moment. I am Shin-navigator, his second. He has delegated me to come aboard and arrange terms.

Vorta: We were supposed to meet on Equelious?

Kzinti: It was deemed suddenly hazardous. If you are not interested in our offer?

Vorta: Oh no. I am very interested indeed. Please come aboard by all means.

**Scene: The Kzinti beams aboard and just as he materializes, Astro and Cora come out from behind and take out the bridge crew while the large Kzinti snatches Vorta by his neck! The Kzinti morphs into Elsberry.**

Elsberry: You did say….by all means?

Astro: That is such a cool trick.

Elsberry: It is not as simple as you believe. I shouldn't even be a Star Fleet officer. It's quite an interesting tale actually…

Cora: Which we have no time for right now. So how did you know what was going to happen Astro?

Astro: I learn real quick. If you noticed the real sick looking Kzinti in the back of that other ship's control room? You had to wonder why a so called "Royal Police Ship" would have a telepathic mind reader on board. Besides…I had Doctor Aidoann make these fake Japanese coins for me just in case. They have hidden tracking devices in them.

Cora: Smart thinking.

Astro: Humans, Kzinti, Kingons….everyone in the universe tends to act the same.

**Scene: Astro slips into the control seat of the smuggling vessel while Cora and Elsberry get the crew beamed off the ship.**

Astro: Give me a minute to figure the controls out.

Cora: Hopefully that old file I dug up from the USS Enterprise history logs will come in handy.

Elsberry: Vulcans are unique in their informational exactness. Still…Kazin telepaths are going to make matters extremely difficult.

Astro: I got something in mind to monkey wrench those gears. That, and this stuff Doctor Aidoann made for us.

**Scene: Elsberry morphs into the Naguma's Captain while Cora gets into a costume.**

Elsberry: Here goes nothing. Such a silly phrase actually with no useful…

**Scene: A Kzinti suddenly appears on the ship's view screen.**

Kzinti: Captain?

Elseberry: Ah! Forgive me…I was talking aloud just now. I am Balin, Captain of the Naguma, how should we conduct business?

Kzinti: We will send you landing co-ordinates. We recommend you leave your weapons on your ship and refrain from rash or sudden movement during our initial meeting to discuss the agreement.

Elseberry: Of course. We will land shortly. Naguma out.

**Scene: Elsberry turns to Cora and Astro.**

Elseberry: From here forth we must all keep our minds on what we've practiced. Astro, we will need your extraordinary skills. Once we have the Prince we must be out and gone quickly, understood?

**Scene: Cora and Astro agree.**

End of Act VIII

Act IX

**Scene: The Planet Equelis. 3 Kzinti,T' Zar and a telepath are walking up to the Naguma. Elseberry and Cora come out. Astro is hiding. Right away he starts messing with the telepath by directing a focused beam of heat to a spot on the Kzinti's head.**

Elsberry: Your friend here is looking a little sick.

**Scene: Telepath throws up**

T'Zar: Get him out of my sight! Once again the fool has had too much Sthondat!

Elseberry: I thought you wouldn't mind me sweetening our deal a bit? Miranda? Miranda! Well? Get a move on girl! Lord of Ursae why do I always end up with a dumb female? She's only good as a bed warmer, I swear it!

**Scene: The Kzinti laugh.**

T'zar: We have a saying, if a female isn't on her stomach, she's worthless!

**Scene: Cora brings back a big box on a hover cart.**

Elseberry: Fresh meat. The best stock for you and all your brave warriors.

T'Zar: You DO know us well human! I think you will fetch a handsome return for what we offer.

Elseberry: I do not see the Prince?

E'Yar: We must keep the troublesome whelp locked up. He has given us much trouble already. Please follow us?

**Scene: Astro watches as Cora and Elsberry walk away. When his chance comes, he bolts from the ship to a hide spot. He observes a guard.**

Astro: I hope you're hungry.

**Scene: Using his eyes, Astro projects a gorgeous 10 point White Tail deer which the guard salivates over and soon chases after. It gives Astro a chance to dive into a nearby air duct.**

**Scene: Elseberry and Cora are with T'Zar, E'Yar and the Wazire.**

Elseberry: Now let's see….2,000 gold pieces…10,000 credits? A bit slight given the risk to me and my crew. I don't relish being chased by rabid jihad crazed Kzinti all over the galaxy.

Wazire: Fear not. We will ensure your safety. Imagine the considerable profit for a white Kzin? He would make a rare object in a Kardasian zoo would he not?

**Scene: Astro is crawling through venbting till he senses the right location. He slowly burns a hole and peaks down to see the Prince tied up on the floor of his cell.**

Astro: Think they used enough rope?

**Scene: Astro cuts his way into the cell. Unties Kim-ritt and guides him to a corner. He then emits the sound of a vicious cat fight that draws the guard inside. Astro kicks the guards butt!**

Kim-ritt: Excellent! What style of fighting was that?

Astro: "Get the hell out of Dodge Fu." Let's go!"

**Scene: Another Kzinti shows up. Astro jumps in front of Kim-ritt and takes a full disrupter blast.**

Astro: That was supposed to hurt right?

**Scene: Astro tries to bring up his surge cannon arm….it doesn't work.**

Astro: I….should have seen that coming.

End Act IX

ActX

**Scene: The Kzinti towers over Astro and Kim-ritt and snarls, ready for the kill…until Kim-ritt gives the most pathetic attempt at looking tough. The Kzinti laughs!**

**Scene: Kim-ritt pulls a disrupter that he shoved down the back of Astro's pants and shoots the warrior!**

Kim-ritt: Kzin warriors may be tough but sometimes they're dumb as rocks!

**Scene: The alarm goes off.**

Astro: This makes me wish people still used bullets!

**Scene: The alarm goes off around Elsberry, Cora , and the Kzin that are with them. Elsberry extends two tentacles and knocks the Wazire and one Kzin out while Cora phasers the third.**

Elsberry: Obviously Astro doesn't believe in subtlety!

Cora: We need to get back to the ship!

**Scene/Alarm: Intruders! Intruders! We have one and the Prince trapped on Level 3!**

Elsberry: So much for a quick departure!

Cora: Nothing wrong with a little excitement!

**Scene: Cora and Elsberry run through corridors till Elsberry transforms into a Vulcan Seilot and thrashes a line of Kzinti blocking Astro and the Prince's escape route.**

Cora: Is there nothing you can't transform into?

Elsberry: An Orion female! Somehow the shape always turns out to be obese with a wide derriere!

**Scene: Astro and Kim-ritt come running from around a corner.**

Astro: Run! Run!

Elsberry: What happened to your extraordinary skills?

Astro: They became extraordinary useless!

**Scene: The group run with Kzinti behind them till Cora slides to a stop.**

Cora: Give me that…that…now get out of here!

**Scene: Cora takes the spray bottle of No and a phaser.**

Cora: Get going!

Astro: Are you crazy?

Cora: I'll be right behind you, trust me!

**Scene: The two charging Kzinti draw their swords and come swinging for the kill….till they realize…**

K1: Those….miserable cur!

K2: They threw their female in front of us!

K1: Such worthless dishonorable scum. She's not even worth a battle scratch. Pathetic, stupid baby machine…

**Scene: Cora nails K2 right between his legs with a strong kick and sprays both of them in the face with the No! She runs, leaving them screaming in agony as the Wazire and T'Zar come running up.**

T'Zar: What happened?

K1: The female! ARGH! That dumb female!

Wazire: She's a Manrhetti you stupid idiot! Get up! Get after them!

**Scene: The group makes it out of the base and run for the Naguma but a laser cannon blasts the ship to pieces! They dive for cover as the cannon rakes the ground with fire! After a frustrating exchange between them, Kim-ritt chucks a rock and nails the cannon shooter in the eye!**

Astro: Never doubt the old reliable rock!

Kim-ritt: You become proficient when you're a troublemaker!

**Scene: The group breaks for a vacant police ship and run onboard.**

Cora: Get us out of here!

Astro: Uh? Do you know how to fly this?

Kim-ritt: Are you kidding? Hope you got two stomachs!

**Scene: Wild air chase with soundtrack from George Thoughgood.**

Elsberry: Captain? You timely appearance at this critical juncture…

Cora: Get your ass here like yesterday!

**Scene: The Keldish shows up firing and beams the group aboard as the Kzinti traitors blow up their ship. Suddenly the traitor ships are blown up by weapons other than the Keldish. Now a larger, more powerful ship glides to a stop before the Keldish.**

**Scene: Keldish bridge. The image of the Great Kzin Emperor, Leo-ritt, appears on the screen.**

Leo-ritt: Is my wayward Grandson aboard this vessel?

**Scene: Kim-ritt approaches the screen.**

Kim-ritt: Honorable Grandfather.

Leo-ritt: Once again my child, you have proven yourself resourceful as always in dealing with our enemies.

Captain Boone: Wait? Are you telling me…this was all an act?

Leo-ritt: Forgive us Captain. Your cooperation in this affair was necessary, approved or not. We of the Pretoriant must always be on guard against those who would stear our race into…spirited yet ill-advised campaigns.

**Scene: A young female Kzinti pops onto the screen.**

Lya-ritt: Hi brother! Did you act like an idiot like you always do?

Astro: Your sister?

Leo-ritt: Sometimes I wish she wasn't.

Astro: My Sympathy.

**Scene: Kim-ritt turns to Captain Boone**

Kim-ritt: Captain…forgive me for putting you and your crew through this deception but without your help, the outcome could have been most dire.

Boone: Acepted.

**Scene: Kim-ritt turns to Cora.**

Kim-ritt: Miss Cora…I am sorry for any slights upon you. You are the finest model of your gender and a tribute to our fear of the Manrhetti legend.

Cora: I expect to be treated like a Goddess whenever I visit Kzin.

**Scene: Kim-ritt turns to Astro.**

Kim-ritt: One day I hope you and I can experience what you call Sushi together….with live fish and meat of course?

Astro: I'll just settle for a California Roll.

Kim-ritt: Vegetables?...disgusting.

**Scene: Astro and Kim-ritt shake hands then Kim-ritt is returned to his Grandfather.**

Captain Boone: Now that we're done with that interruption…shall we go on? We have more to see.

**Scene: The bridge crew moves to their stations and the Keldish moves on.**

**Next episode trailer**

**Ending Credits**

**End of Episode**


End file.
